Posts
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Empty Vessel
So, I am less than a week away from giving up the internet for 40 days. Ugh! In the interest of full disclosure-- I am dreading it! This week I've been paying attention to when I log on to the internet and, well, let's just say it's staggering how much I rely on the World Wide Web.
** Need a recipe? Just jump on to Allrecipes.com and problem solved.
** Weird, unexplainable stomach cramp? Why, WebMD.com has the answer!
** Has the title of a book you read in 5th grade slipped your mind? Good thing Amazon.com knows which one it is.
** Looking for the latest theory on your favorite TV show? Well, take your pick.
Um, yeah, I need a break.
............
I want things to be different in my life and I feel as though I have lost a certain intimacy I once had with Him. That is what this season is all about for me. Not just a fast, which feels so… oh, I don’t know… obligatory. Rather I want this to be an offering. An act of worship. An empty vessel. (Yes, I know that’s what a fast is, but it’s all about how the wording plays out in my head.)
Please know that I am not telling you about this to make myself look good to you. I have mentioned it for 3 reason’s; 1) I want you to know where I’ve gone when I disappear for a while; 2) Maybe, maybe, I will inspire someone else in my journey; 3) Accountability.
I know that several have asked me to journal during this time and I am still thinking about it. Sunday's are not counted in the 40 days of fasting, they are seen as a celebratory time. So, I might post an update or two on a Sunday. I'll wait and see how it feels.
Either way, I will journal as I go, and when the time is over I will share with you what I can. (As a side note-- I will still be checking/sending email as that was not a part of what I am "offering" up. I can check it without logging on and email is a vital source of communication in our household.)
Is anyone else out there making an offering for Lent?
(Oh by the way, Lent starts next Wednesday, Ash Wednesday, and goes until Easter.)
** Need a recipe? Just jump on to Allrecipes.com and problem solved.
** Weird, unexplainable stomach cramp? Why, WebMD.com has the answer!
** Has the title of a book you read in 5th grade slipped your mind? Good thing Amazon.com knows which one it is.
** Looking for the latest theory on your favorite TV show? Well, take your pick.
Um, yeah, I need a break.
............
I want things to be different in my life and I feel as though I have lost a certain intimacy I once had with Him. That is what this season is all about for me. Not just a fast, which feels so… oh, I don’t know… obligatory. Rather I want this to be an offering. An act of worship. An empty vessel. (Yes, I know that’s what a fast is, but it’s all about how the wording plays out in my head.)
Please know that I am not telling you about this to make myself look good to you. I have mentioned it for 3 reason’s; 1) I want you to know where I’ve gone when I disappear for a while; 2) Maybe, maybe, I will inspire someone else in my journey; 3) Accountability.
I know that several have asked me to journal during this time and I am still thinking about it. Sunday's are not counted in the 40 days of fasting, they are seen as a celebratory time. So, I might post an update or two on a Sunday. I'll wait and see how it feels.
Either way, I will journal as I go, and when the time is over I will share with you what I can. (As a side note-- I will still be checking/sending email as that was not a part of what I am "offering" up. I can check it without logging on and email is a vital source of communication in our household.)
Is anyone else out there making an offering for Lent?
(Oh by the way, Lent starts next Wednesday, Ash Wednesday, and goes until Easter.)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Reality
I was just reading Meredith's blog and she posted on a topic that has been weighing on my heart lately. I am going to piggy back off of her topic with some of my own thoughts....
I would like to think that I have been pretty transparent on this blog. Actually, I think I am more real here than I am in real life sometimes. I find it easier to share the ugly parts with people who I only sort of know. Yet, in truth, I think y'all probably know me best.
...............
For about a year I had a little reminder written in lipstick on my bedroom mirror. Every time I put on makeup, checked an outfit, or fluffed my hair this little note was staring back at me. Day after day I would read it aloud and repeat it over and over, hoping that it would sink into my heart and free me from my perfectionism.
"I am who I am."
It didn't help. I windexed it off.
Here's the thing, I am ugly. I am messy. I am loud, and controlling, and I do not have all my sh*t together. (And I cuss!) I struggle with anxiety and depression. I HATE gloomy weather. I do not read my bible every day. I do not shower every day. Sometimes I only wash my hair once a week! (Heaven forbid!) I am overweight. I think judgmental thoughts. I gossip. I lie, to myself mostly, but I do lie. I envy, I have unrighteous anger.
And sometimes, okay A LOT of times, I do all those things (and more) in one day!
But that's just me. It's who I am and I have no problem admitting the bad stuff.
A few days ago I was looking through some old photos. I came across a series of pictures of myself that I had not seen in a long time. I stared for a long time, looking at each photo thoroughly, and I realized something.
I am beautiful.
I would like to think that I have been pretty transparent on this blog. Actually, I think I am more real here than I am in real life sometimes. I find it easier to share the ugly parts with people who I only sort of know. Yet, in truth, I think y'all probably know me best.
...............
For about a year I had a little reminder written in lipstick on my bedroom mirror. Every time I put on makeup, checked an outfit, or fluffed my hair this little note was staring back at me. Day after day I would read it aloud and repeat it over and over, hoping that it would sink into my heart and free me from my perfectionism.
"I am who I am."
It didn't help. I windexed it off.
Here's the thing, I am ugly. I am messy. I am loud, and controlling, and I do not have all my sh*t together. (And I cuss!) I struggle with anxiety and depression. I HATE gloomy weather. I do not read my bible every day. I do not shower every day. Sometimes I only wash my hair once a week! (Heaven forbid!) I am overweight. I think judgmental thoughts. I gossip. I lie, to myself mostly, but I do lie. I envy, I have unrighteous anger.
And sometimes, okay A LOT of times, I do all those things (and more) in one day!
But that's just me. It's who I am and I have no problem admitting the bad stuff.
A few days ago I was looking through some old photos. I came across a series of pictures of myself that I had not seen in a long time. I stared for a long time, looking at each photo thoroughly, and I realized something.
I am beautiful.
Why is it so hard to admit the good stuff?
...............
Lent is coming up and I've been thinking about what I am going to "give up". I can barely even type the words, but I think I am going to give up the Internet. Blogs, Facebook, Youtube, People.com, Craigslist, All Recipes (yikes!), etc. All of it. For 40 days.
I'm getting all sweaty just thinking about it.
But here's the truth- the internet is just one more hurdle in my struggle to admit the good stuff. It's hard to read other blogs and think that everyone else has their sh*t together when mine has just hit the fan. I can't help but compare myself to the rest of the good mommy bloggers out there.
And honestly, this thing just sucks up my time. It is a distraction from making the changes in my "real" life that I need to make. I want to live authentically. Not just blog it, but live it.
So, that's what I am going to do. I'm gonna throw myself at the Lords feet and walk out my life, authentically, and as naked as figuratively possible.
And when I come back, if I come back, maybe I'll blog about it. ;)
...............
Lent is coming up and I've been thinking about what I am going to "give up". I can barely even type the words, but I think I am going to give up the Internet. Blogs, Facebook, Youtube, People.com, Craigslist, All Recipes (yikes!), etc. All of it. For 40 days.
I'm getting all sweaty just thinking about it.
But here's the truth- the internet is just one more hurdle in my struggle to admit the good stuff. It's hard to read other blogs and think that everyone else has their sh*t together when mine has just hit the fan. I can't help but compare myself to the rest of the good mommy bloggers out there.
And honestly, this thing just sucks up my time. It is a distraction from making the changes in my "real" life that I need to make. I want to live authentically. Not just blog it, but live it.
So, that's what I am going to do. I'm gonna throw myself at the Lords feet and walk out my life, authentically, and as naked as figuratively possible.
And when I come back, if I come back, maybe I'll blog about it. ;)
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Randomness In All Its Glory
- Looking for a really tasty granola recipe. Anyone out there have a good one to pass on?
- I am so very very sick of the cold. I am really longing for summer.
- In September I will be able to add "Aunt" to my description list over there in my profile!!! I am really excited about this! (Trying to be a little covert in this announcement since the future mommy and daddy haven't blabbed it to the world yet. I am bursting with the news so I had to share somehow!!! ) (How'd I do with the covert thing? I always knew I would make a good spy. Just call me Sydney Bristow.)
- I can be really sarcastic and dry. (duh.)
- I say "really" too much and am trying to break myself of this habit. As you can tell by the previous random tidbits I am doing just dandy with this.
- Had to wipe the dogs arse yesterday after she pooped on Jaron's blocks. This is not in my job description and I am not getting paid enough to do such a vile thing.
- I have a post about shame that I am working on. Maybe someday I will actually get it published on here. My writing gears have slowed down lately and cranking out anything of substance has become near impossible.
- I need some good books to read. Anybody have some good suggestions? I especially love fiction and biographies/memoirs.
- I am so very very sick of the cold. I am really longing for summer.
- In September I will be able to add "Aunt" to my description list over there in my profile!!! I am really excited about this! (Trying to be a little covert in this announcement since the future mommy and daddy haven't blabbed it to the world yet. I am bursting with the news so I had to share somehow!!! ) (How'd I do with the covert thing? I always knew I would make a good spy. Just call me Sydney Bristow.)
- I can be really sarcastic and dry. (duh.)
- I say "really" too much and am trying to break myself of this habit. As you can tell by the previous random tidbits I am doing just dandy with this.
- Had to wipe the dogs arse yesterday after she pooped on Jaron's blocks. This is not in my job description and I am not getting paid enough to do such a vile thing.
- I have a post about shame that I am working on. Maybe someday I will actually get it published on here. My writing gears have slowed down lately and cranking out anything of substance has become near impossible.
- I need some good books to read. Anybody have some good suggestions? I especially love fiction and biographies/memoirs.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
The Recipe for the "Best Brownies In The Whole Wide World"...
is found right here.
You're welcome. :)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Why I Love My Husband: Reason #756,859
After an especially long and hectic afternoon, he offers to bring something home for dinner so I don't have to cook. And, as an added bonus he plans on taking the toddler out for a while so I can let silence tickle my ear drums.
Ah, the luxury.
He's my hero.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Exercise
Me- Start the Winsor Pilate's 20 minute Burn work out DVD.
Jaron- Get head stuck behind furniture. Scream
Me- Pause DVD to help Jaron get unstuck. Comfort screaming toddler.
Jaron- Get head stuck behind furniture... again. Scream... again.
Me- Pause DVD to help Jaron get unstuck... again. Comfort screaming toddler... again.
Jaron- Disappear after a few minutes of "behaving".
Me- Pause the DVD after "hearing" silence for too long. Discover Jaron coloring daddy's pillow with a blue high-liter. Disciple toddler.
Jaron- Throw tantrum before the word "No" even hits Mommy's lips.
Me- Choose not to battle fit. Ignore fit. Clean up mess.
Jaron- Mad at lack of attention. Escape while Mommy's distracted. Find more trouble to get into.
Jaron- Get head stuck behind furniture. Scream
Me- Pause DVD to help Jaron get unstuck. Comfort screaming toddler.
Jaron- Get head stuck behind furniture... again. Scream... again.
Me- Pause DVD to help Jaron get unstuck... again. Comfort screaming toddler... again.
Jaron- Disappear after a few minutes of "behaving".
Me- Pause the DVD after "hearing" silence for too long. Discover Jaron coloring daddy's pillow with a blue high-liter. Disciple toddler.
Jaron- Throw tantrum before the word "No" even hits Mommy's lips.
Me- Choose not to battle fit. Ignore fit. Clean up mess.
Jaron- Mad at lack of attention. Escape while Mommy's distracted. Find more trouble to get into.
Me- Back to finish workout. Can't find remote to un-pause DVD. Look to Jaron.
Jaron- Smile mischievously at Mommy's stern look. Offer no help.
Me- Tear house apart looking for remote while trying to remain calm. Repeating mantra, "Do not loose your temper at helpless toddler".
Jaron- Start giggling. Offer no help.
Me- Find remote hidden in empty box in Jaron's room. Finish 20 minute workout DVD in 45 minutes. Put toddler down for nap. Put self down for nap.
Jaron- Smile mischievously at Mommy's stern look. Offer no help.
Me- Tear house apart looking for remote while trying to remain calm. Repeating mantra, "Do not loose your temper at helpless toddler".
Jaron- Start giggling. Offer no help.
Me- Find remote hidden in empty box in Jaron's room. Finish 20 minute workout DVD in 45 minutes. Put toddler down for nap. Put self down for nap.
"Who me?"Monday, January 05, 2009
Embers, revisited
This story starts a few posts ago, and it doesn't end with today's post. I think this is just the journey the Lord has me on right now. I can't say that I am totally thrilled about it, however I do think I am beginning to understand what it's all about.
Psalm 18 has been a bit of a challenge for me. I guess it has revealed in my heart some trust issues. Imagine that? A female with trust issues!? ;)
The psalm talks a lot about how the Lord will be my support and my shield. That he will enable me to stand and face my enemy. That he will, "stoop down to make me great" (vs 35).
Those are hard phrases for me, though the stooping down part gives me chills. I am lowly and he is lofty, yet he loves me. I am dark and he is light, yet he loves me. He is clean and holy and pure and because of his sacrifice I am too.
I guess it's the sacrifice part that is sometimes hard to accept. Does anyone else have a hard time with that? As a mom, as a perfectionist and someone who analyzes EVERYTHING, I find it very difficult to accept help. While studying this psalm I keep coming back to that.
I have the head knowledge of all this, but I guess sometimes my heart gets tripped up on pride.
Recently I read a corresponding passage (Psalm 91) that led to a bit of a breakthrough. Look at this....
"Because he loves me" says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him." (emphasis mine)
Simply because I love him, he will not only rescue me, but he will honor me.
Wow. Does that hit you like it hit me? I hope so. I hope the deepth of that sinks into you today. All you have to-- ALL I HAVE TO DO-- is acknowlede his name and call to him. Doesn't mean my problem will *poof* go away, but it does mean that someone far greater than me is on the job.
The Message bible says it so awesomely... "From his palace he hears my call; my cry brings me right into his presence- a private audience!" (Pslalm 18:6)
How cool is that?
If you are in need of help, or strength; or if you feel like your enemies [enemies can also be things like depression, anxiety, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc] are closing in an all sides then I encourage you to read Psalm 18 and Psalm 91 today.
And seriously, isn't it just breath taking that he stoops down to make us great???
Psalm 18 has been a bit of a challenge for me. I guess it has revealed in my heart some trust issues. Imagine that? A female with trust issues!? ;)
The psalm talks a lot about how the Lord will be my support and my shield. That he will enable me to stand and face my enemy. That he will, "stoop down to make me great" (vs 35).
Those are hard phrases for me, though the stooping down part gives me chills. I am lowly and he is lofty, yet he loves me. I am dark and he is light, yet he loves me. He is clean and holy and pure and because of his sacrifice I am too.
I guess it's the sacrifice part that is sometimes hard to accept. Does anyone else have a hard time with that? As a mom, as a perfectionist and someone who analyzes EVERYTHING, I find it very difficult to accept help. While studying this psalm I keep coming back to that.
I have the head knowledge of all this, but I guess sometimes my heart gets tripped up on pride.
Recently I read a corresponding passage (Psalm 91) that led to a bit of a breakthrough. Look at this....
"Because he loves me" says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him." (emphasis mine)
Simply because I love him, he will not only rescue me, but he will honor me.
Wow. Does that hit you like it hit me? I hope so. I hope the deepth of that sinks into you today. All you have to-- ALL I HAVE TO DO-- is acknowlede his name and call to him. Doesn't mean my problem will *poof* go away, but it does mean that someone far greater than me is on the job.
The Message bible says it so awesomely... "From his palace he hears my call; my cry brings me right into his presence- a private audience!" (Pslalm 18:6)
How cool is that?
If you are in need of help, or strength; or if you feel like your enemies [enemies can also be things like depression, anxiety, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc] are closing in an all sides then I encourage you to read Psalm 18 and Psalm 91 today.
And seriously, isn't it just breath taking that he stoops down to make us great???
Friday, January 02, 2009
And A Happy Holidays To You...
Being sick is the pits.
Taking care of a sick toddler is sad.
Having a sick husband is MISERABLE.
All of the above at the same time, during Christmas vacation, cannot be described in words I wish to publish on the blog. Use your imagination.
I'm going to bed.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
A Boy's Winter Wonderland
Well, it's official. This beach lovin' family has a snow lover amongst us. To be honest and completely fair, he LOVES just about everything that has to do with outside. During our beach vacation he adored the sand (okay, so he adored eating the sand, but still...).
Anyway, back to my point. My Jaron boy was ecstatic this morning to wake up to snow, snow and more snow. He has pretty much lived at our window all morning long.
Anyway, back to my point. My Jaron boy was ecstatic this morning to wake up to snow, snow and more snow. He has pretty much lived at our window all morning long.
He even insisted on eating his snack at the window. Because, you know, he wouldn't want to miss a single second of watching that snow fall.
The bonus that comes with the snow are all the snow plows, or "no now's" as he calls them. Every time one goes by he yells for me to come look.
And this, well this is his big, happy smiling face. I know, it's a bit cranky looking, but I promise, whenever I ask him to smile his happy smile, this is what I get.
I think his excitement might make a snow lover out of me yet!
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Embers
Jonathan and I meet with friends of ours every Monday night to worship together for an hour or so. We do this in harp and bowl style which is refreshing and challenging all at the same time. The last few weeks we have been singing through Psalm 18.
Y'all I have to be honest, it's crushing me. I don't know why but just getting through the first few verses is like trudging up a steep hill with 500 lbs on my back. In the dark. On an empty stomach.
In other words, it's rough. And I'm barely making it.
By verse 2 (which says, "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.") I am usually holding back tears. It's like the Lord is taking a fire poker and jamming it into the most tender place of my heart looking to stir up whatever embers lay there. It hurts and I don't like it.
I would like to take a cue from Jaron and throw myself on the floor and pitch a fit.
"Enough Lord!!! ENOUGH!"
I would like to go limp when He picks me up and just fall back to the floor. Because whenever that stupid fire poker thingy comes out it means stuff has to be dealt with. Old crap has to be cleaned up and cleared out. It usually means that a lot of work is ahead and I just am not in the mood to deal with it.
So there.
How's that for a little toddler fit??
Oh y'all. Why does it have to be so hard, this living life thing?
I suppose I'm just making it harder than it needs to be.
Also, I'm sorry that I have been MIA lately. Honestly I don't know what to say about it other than my priorities are just different right now. I have been thinking about stopping all together and just deleting this thing, but something keeps me from doing that. So for now, I'll blog when I have something to say and I will not pressure myself to keep this thing going on a daily basis. That okay with y'all??
Y'all I have to be honest, it's crushing me. I don't know why but just getting through the first few verses is like trudging up a steep hill with 500 lbs on my back. In the dark. On an empty stomach.
In other words, it's rough. And I'm barely making it.
By verse 2 (which says, "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.") I am usually holding back tears. It's like the Lord is taking a fire poker and jamming it into the most tender place of my heart looking to stir up whatever embers lay there. It hurts and I don't like it.
I would like to take a cue from Jaron and throw myself on the floor and pitch a fit.
"Enough Lord!!! ENOUGH!"
I would like to go limp when He picks me up and just fall back to the floor. Because whenever that stupid fire poker thingy comes out it means stuff has to be dealt with. Old crap has to be cleaned up and cleared out. It usually means that a lot of work is ahead and I just am not in the mood to deal with it.
So there.
How's that for a little toddler fit??
Oh y'all. Why does it have to be so hard, this living life thing?
I suppose I'm just making it harder than it needs to be.
Also, I'm sorry that I have been MIA lately. Honestly I don't know what to say about it other than my priorities are just different right now. I have been thinking about stopping all together and just deleting this thing, but something keeps me from doing that. So for now, I'll blog when I have something to say and I will not pressure myself to keep this thing going on a daily basis. That okay with y'all??
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Bullet The Blue Sky
Just saw this funny post over at Musings of a Future Pastors Wife and thought it looked like fun. Join in if you want!
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song title down, no matter how silly it sounds.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Girls Just Want To Have Fun- Cyndi Lauper
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Overjoyed- Jars of Clay
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Rest Stop- Matchbox Twenty
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Frail- Jars of Clay
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
All Eyes On Me- Goo Goo Dolls (HA!)
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
I Believe In Love- Dixie Chicks
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Light Years Away- MoZella (LOL!)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Sugar- Tonic
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
6th Avenue Heartache- The Wallflowers (oh! sad!)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR SPOUSE?
Lover Lay Down- Dave Matthews (*blushing*)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
You're So Wonderful- Vineyard Worship
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For- U2
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE YOUR SPOUSE?
I've Got News- Andrew Peterson
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Eternal Flame- The Bangles (HA!)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Hey Ya!- Outkast
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Mr. Froogie Went A-Courtin'- Burl Ives (LOL! A kids song that Jaron loves!)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Apologize- OneRepublic
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Wipe Out- The Surfaris
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Walk This Way- Aerosmith
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I Ain't Goin' Nowhere- Martina McBride (LOL!!!!!)
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Saved By Loved- Amy Grant (does this mean I won't die?!?) ;)
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Canned Heat- Jamiroquai (oh dear.)
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
You Are My Joy- David Crowder Band
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
We Cry Out- Kim Walker (appropriate I would say, huh?)
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Building A Mystery- Sarah McLachlan
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
What's In It For Me?- Faith Hill (hehehe!)
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Don't Fade On Me- Tom Petty
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Two Princes- Spin Doctors
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Bullet The Blue Sky - U2
Okay- that's it for me tonight folks. A little bit of silly as I veg out before Turkey Day. Lot's to be thankful for this year. Make sure you take time to be thankful amidst the eating!! :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Twitter Bug
I finally caved in and I am now Twittering. Anyone else out there doing the Twitter thing?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
True Confessions
I'm bored. Waiting on the hubby to get home so I can go work out. Ugh. I hate working out, but I have to do it. I HAVE to for oh, so many reasons. But mostly I just have to do it b/c I said I was going to. I am working on keeping my word in all things.
So, anyhoo-- now that I've bored you to tears also, let's spice things up a bit. Here are a few random confessions that will probably tell you more than you ever wanted to know about me.
Feel free to tease and laugh at me if it will make your day. :)
So, anyhoo-- now that I've bored you to tears also, let's spice things up a bit. Here are a few random confessions that will probably tell you more than you ever wanted to know about me.
Feel free to tease and laugh at me if it will make your day. :)
- Like my friend Marilee, I hate sticking my hand down the drain (or garbage disposal). This is why I married my husband. He can do all the dirty work. :)
- I watch re-runs of Saved by the Bell episodes every morning while I eat breakfast. I watched this show as a kid and there is something nostalgic about it. (TBS is the station, in case anyone is interested in joining me!)
- I do this weird thing while driving on the interstate (we don't have a "highway" where I live- just an interstate, though this would apply to a highway also). I grind my teeth whenever I pass a guardrail and I only grind which ever side the guardrail is on. If there's one on both sides I grind all my teeth. Weird, I know, but then I never claimed to be normal.
- I hate wearing socks. If I could do the flip flop thing all winter long, I would. As soon as it breaks 50 degrees outside I bust those baby's out.
- I think that fresh cilantro makes any dish better. Truly I do. I even bet you that it wouldn't be half bad coated in dark chocolate. Because we all know that chocolate makes everything better too. The next peanut butter and jelly me thinks.
Oh- the hubby just walked in the door. Time to go sweat my butt of. Did I say Ugh! yet?!?!
Monday, November 17, 2008
A Little Innocence Lost
So, play date at the library this morning. Met a couple girlfriends (See, I'm making progress in the friendship department ! Yay!) and their kiddos in the children section. I don't know if y'alls libraries are like this, but ours has this big area with toys and puppets for the kids to play with. Lots of kids running around and having fun. Great time for mom's to chat and have some "bonding" time. :)
Anyway, kids are playing and running around everywhere. Jaron wanders up to this other little boy about his size. I am watching from a distance as he approaches and I can tell that he really wants this little boy to play with him. Instead of playing, when Jaron gets up close, this little boy grabs Jaron's face on both sides and scratches him!
Jaron's eyes welled up with tears, and he got a big boo-boo lip and was about to cry. Then he reared his arms back and shoved that little boy to his butt!! I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry! Obviously, I ran over to him and just then the other mom get's there. Of course she's bit perturbed b/c all she saw was Jaron pushing her son and not what her son did to Jaron.
Anyway, I made Jaron apologize for acting out of anger, but inside I was SO proud of my boy for defending himself. We are not a "just turn the other cheek" kind of family. We do not want to raise a bully and will not tolerate Jaron being an antagonist (like that little boy was) but we do want Jaron to defend himself when necessary.
Poor Jaron has a horrible scratch on his face and on the cornea (white part) of his eye. But the hardest part is that Jaron now knows that it's possible to hurt people like that. I'm sad that he had to learn that lesson at such a young age. I know I can't protect him forever, but I guess I was hoping it would be another year or so before he saw someone acting aggressively towards him.
And I have to be honest, I am bit mad at myself for not saying something more to the other mom. She has no clue that her kid scratched Jaron's face. I should have spoken up more and I'm sad that Jaron didn't see me defending him better than I did. I with I could redo the conversation I had with her.
I guess Jaron and I both learned something from this situation today.
Anyway, kids are playing and running around everywhere. Jaron wanders up to this other little boy about his size. I am watching from a distance as he approaches and I can tell that he really wants this little boy to play with him. Instead of playing, when Jaron gets up close, this little boy grabs Jaron's face on both sides and scratches him!
Jaron's eyes welled up with tears, and he got a big boo-boo lip and was about to cry. Then he reared his arms back and shoved that little boy to his butt!! I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry! Obviously, I ran over to him and just then the other mom get's there. Of course she's bit perturbed b/c all she saw was Jaron pushing her son and not what her son did to Jaron.
Anyway, I made Jaron apologize for acting out of anger, but inside I was SO proud of my boy for defending himself. We are not a "just turn the other cheek" kind of family. We do not want to raise a bully and will not tolerate Jaron being an antagonist (like that little boy was) but we do want Jaron to defend himself when necessary.
Poor Jaron has a horrible scratch on his face and on the cornea (white part) of his eye. But the hardest part is that Jaron now knows that it's possible to hurt people like that. I'm sad that he had to learn that lesson at such a young age. I know I can't protect him forever, but I guess I was hoping it would be another year or so before he saw someone acting aggressively towards him.
And I have to be honest, I am bit mad at myself for not saying something more to the other mom. She has no clue that her kid scratched Jaron's face. I should have spoken up more and I'm sad that Jaron didn't see me defending him better than I did. I with I could redo the conversation I had with her.
I guess Jaron and I both learned something from this situation today.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
On Friendships and Being Shy
In my head I am really this outgoing, gregarious person. I make good conversation with witty remarks always on the tip of my tongue. I am selfless and encouraging and always smiling.
In reality I think I am more like a hermit. A quiet, wallflower is more accurate. (Except when I am with my family, then I more closely resemble those traits I mentioned above.) This shyness is something I really dislike about myself, honestly. I wish that I could make friends more easily. I wish that I wasn't so darn weary about getting myself out there and meeting other moms.
But, ugh, the thought of having to go through that whole "who are you, where have you been, what do you like" phase just makes me sick to my stomach.
I have been working really hard at some friendships lately. Not trying too hard, but working hard. (And yes, there is a difference between trying too hard and working hard at something.) I feel like I am beginning to see some changes happening. Not in the others I am spending time with, but in me. I feel like the more I focus on being in the moment the more myself I am able to be.
The me I want to be, anyways.
I am happy with many of my character traits. And I do realize that God made us all with a special uniqueness that makes us, us. But I also recognize that there are things in me that need to change. I cannot live my life without companionship. My husband is great and all, but I can only talk for so long about cooking and decorating before his eyes glaze over! :)
I will tell you one thing that I love about myself though-- I love that I am a loyal friend. My parents taught me a lot about being loyal and it is something that has always stuck with me. I will defend my friends to the end and stick by through thick and thin. I think it's one of my best features, if I do say so myself! :)
Heaven knows that we can stand to talk about the good things since I'm sure we all obsess over the bad way too much! :) So, let's all get a little egotistical today-- what's the best thing about you?? What do you love most about yourself?
In reality I think I am more like a hermit. A quiet, wallflower is more accurate. (Except when I am with my family, then I more closely resemble those traits I mentioned above.) This shyness is something I really dislike about myself, honestly. I wish that I could make friends more easily. I wish that I wasn't so darn weary about getting myself out there and meeting other moms.
But, ugh, the thought of having to go through that whole "who are you, where have you been, what do you like" phase just makes me sick to my stomach.
I have been working really hard at some friendships lately. Not trying too hard, but working hard. (And yes, there is a difference between trying too hard and working hard at something.) I feel like I am beginning to see some changes happening. Not in the others I am spending time with, but in me. I feel like the more I focus on being in the moment the more myself I am able to be.
The me I want to be, anyways.
I am happy with many of my character traits. And I do realize that God made us all with a special uniqueness that makes us, us. But I also recognize that there are things in me that need to change. I cannot live my life without companionship. My husband is great and all, but I can only talk for so long about cooking and decorating before his eyes glaze over! :)
I will tell you one thing that I love about myself though-- I love that I am a loyal friend. My parents taught me a lot about being loyal and it is something that has always stuck with me. I will defend my friends to the end and stick by through thick and thin. I think it's one of my best features, if I do say so myself! :)
Heaven knows that we can stand to talk about the good things since I'm sure we all obsess over the bad way too much! :) So, let's all get a little egotistical today-- what's the best thing about you?? What do you love most about yourself?
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Some Linky Love
* Updated to ad a new link**
Because I'm glued to the all the Election Coverage and b/c things have been way to crazy in my head (thus the absense from the ole' blog), here is some linky love. In case you need something else to do besides watch all the hoopla going on.
- Of toothbrushes and surrender by Jackie @ Our Moments, Our Memories- made me cry. Her writing is simply beautiful.
- These funky boots have me wishing I was sassy enough to own them.
- Has anyone else discovered Letters to a Parent? I'm loving it.
- Pretty much adoring this house. Wishing it were mine. *Sigh*
- Just saw this Letter from Earthcamp and was moved. I needed to hear (see) this reminder today.
Okay, that should keep y'all busy for a while. I'll be back when all the swirling in my brain slows down a bit.
Happy Election Day! :p
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Comfort Food
It is cold and dreary here, with snow in the forecast for this evening. Ick. I've suffered through with a nap (or 2!), some reading, a little fort building, a block tower building session and some good ole' comfort food cooking. My house smells like heaven right now y'all. I have some delicious stew simmering in the crock pot and drop biscuits in the oven. My mouth is watering just smelling all the goodness floating around my house!
I can't wait for dinner!! :)
So, what do you cook on a day when comfort food is the only way to go??
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