Monday, December 18, 2006

Relevant- To Be Or Not To Be

I think I am sick of that word- RELEVANT. I don't want to be relevant anymore- I want to be offensive. I want to say Merry Christmas and God Bless You and I don't want to tone down my relationship with God so as not to alienate others.

I'm not talking offensive in terms of being mean spirited or inappropriate or argumentative. I mean offensive like what Jeremiah talks about in chapter 6 verse 10 "The word of the LORD is offensive to them; they find no pleasure in it."

(Does that make sense or am I going to get a bunch of emails about how wrong I am?!?) :)

I am a light- and light chases away the darkness, right?
I am called to be holy- and holiness cannot compromise.
So how do I be a light - drawing others to HIM while not compromising and settling for being simply relevant?

To me, relevant can be the same as compromise. I do what the world is doing so that my "message" is more palpable.

But shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't the I be the one setting the standards? Shouldn't the I (and Christians in general) be the one creating the trends and cutting edge things? Shouldn't those that are deep in their relationship with God be the ones with the new ideas and creativity flowing out the whazoo?

Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Wouldn't be the first time.

I guess I just find myself at a cross roads.

I am about to become a mom. J and I are responsible to the well being and spiritual up brining of this precious life. I don't want this kid to grow up thinking that middle ground is okay and if he/she were watching my life right now, that's the message they would get.

Not. Acceptable.

Passion, depth, desire, honesty, repentance, holiness, love. These are the things that I want to represent me.

I am not prefect and I don't think perfection is attainable, but it should be what I am trying to get to. My walk with God should be propelling me towards perfection. I want to be like the Shulammite woman in Song of Solomon- dark, but lovely in her lovers eyes.

He has stolen away my heart. Captured my life for eternity.

I don't want to just be relevant anymore. I want to be holy and set apart. Jesus was holy, set apart and yet still people were drawn to him. He was relevant without compromise. I pray that I can be that way. That I can show my children what it means to walk upright while still causing others to be drawn to Christ.

Wow, what a task.

Sorry to ramble. I just reread this post and hope that it makes sense. I don't know that it will, but I don't want to rewrite it. I am just pouring out my thoughts and sometimes my brain is scattered.

I hope that as you read this you understand where I am coming from. Not a place of judgment, but one of hunger. Hunger for the Lord. Hunger for depth and revelation.

To gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to dwell in His temple all the days of my life. ONE THING is needed and this is what I seek.